A real flirtatiouse conversation of mine that seemed to get out of control.



 ME: Lets Invade the Balkans!

HER:Don't you think the Balkans have suffered enough? That said, leading an invasion could be fun...

Its the only time id ever get to wave a sabre erratically atop a horse. For some reason, what poped in my head, was us charging into war in world war one apparel and steed....essentially, fancy dress. ( Fancy dress war?........hmm, the possibilities)

I'd like to imagine our propaganda posters may read "Lets Bash those Belligerent Balkies for Blighty" and the design would be of a teenage hoody playing Whack-a-Mole, but the moles are shaped like mini geographic layouts of the provinces.

That said, its never realy worth starting a war just to see modern takes of vintage war posters.

Would that be the sole motivation, then? Recreating vintage war posters? If we're going to do this we need to think it through properly. What have the Balkans ever done to us?

Plus, if we're going to be historically accurate then I wouldn't really be involved at all, but rather tending to some festering wound as a nurse, or at best driving an ambulance, or most likely digging for victory on the home front. So, in the spirit of authenticity, you might have to invade on your own.

I wonder if perhaps what you need is some kind of historical re-enactment society (do they exist?)... less blood, guts, and war crimes that way.

 

I don’t think the Balkans have ever done anything to us, but I’m a fan of reactionary rhetoric so am forced to say “or for us”. You’re right though, art isn’t yet a motivator for war ......although, i am always inclined to punch Damien Hirst just a couple of seconds after he open his mouth.

To hell with acuracy (so much so i miss-spell it on purpose?)

I think historical re-enactment societies stop at the recriminations of war, though i could be persuaded to play the role of ‘Juror Number 5’ in the some forthcoming re-enactment of the Nuremberg Trials.......how funny would the broachers be “Oh, it seems the person playing Hitler was in ‘Birmingham Am-Dram Presents: Fiddler on the Roof’”

Yeah, not sure I'd watch/be involved a reenactment of the Nuremberg trials - that's a serious amount of time to commit. I take it you're a bit of a history buff, then?

not really.............dosent everyone refference the Nuremberg trials on dating sites?

In my limited experience, no they don't. But maybe they should!

If only this absurd banter could change the way the world works. Maybe a new approach to the conversation is called for.

Perhaps you should recommend this method of communicating to the UN? I'm sure they'd be open to ideas about how to achieve world peace...

They might misinterpret it as some sort of manifesto and then impose economic sanctions on me...........what’ll the weekly shop be like without my usual Hobnobs, Milk and Kalashnikovs?

Well there's always the black market. I hear it does a good trade in hobnobs, and the odd Kalashnikov.

But that world is so veiled, you never know if you’ll end up with uranium tipped cookies or gluten free bullets.

I suspect it's a risk you'll have to take if you really want to change the world. Anyway, what's wrong with a little radiation poisoning?

Tell that to Marie Curie.

Needless to say we didnt continue this conversation face to face.
(my last line just has me in stitches)