- PART 2 - Web series, Six Parts : "UnLuck"

Web Series Idea – “UnLuck”

-Six episodes of 10 to 15 minutes. The tone of the series turns from Sitcom to dry by the end episode.

-A story that attempts to comment on the homogenisation of modern western jobs available to the young populace. As well as a comment on the blinkered pathways available to happiness in the competition/goal orientated society.

-------------------------- (EPISODES 3 + 4 OF 6) -----------------------

Episode Three: Second Place Silver (Service)

Jamie drops down, slumping into the broken 70s sponge like sofa at ‘Rays Recruitments’, the office is  situated within in a shabby retrofitted porter-cabin; it's a small husband and wife recruitments firm.  Ray is typing away one fingered on his computer behind the small desk in one corner of the cabin/room, placing Jamie’s details into their system. Ray, concentrating intensely at the keys he is tapping suddenly looks up from the computer at his wife, who is sitting at another desk opposite her husband typing at her computer, separated/split between the two ends of the sofa Jamie is sat in the middle of staring off into space; they smile at each other which, turning his eyes left to right, Jamie notices. He *SIGHS* and then slumps further into the folds of the sofa; pulling his hoodie over his head to hide better.

RAY: “Excuse me son *COUGH* You in there?” Ray is now standing in front of Jamie bending over uncomfortably because of his weight

Jamie Looking up (POV), removing the hood from his eyes.

Jamie asks if they have any work for him. “Of course! You can hold a tray cant you?” bellows Ray; Jamie nods, a little confused at the comment. Ray Continues as if his question was rhetorical “Be at the Manor house at six sharp and wear black trousers, shoes and a white shirt. Jamie my good boy, silver service is the job for you!” Jamie just shrugs and looks at his watch.

Jamie is at the local clothes shop buying a pair of black trousers, white shirt and black shoes. He goes to pay for the clothing but his card is rejected so he puts back a white shirt and just pays for the shoes and trousers. Back home he riffles through a wardrobe looking for a clean white shirt; not finding one he returns to the shop where he purchased the other items for the white shirt, this time he pays with a bank bags full of pennies.

Back home Jamie is dressing in front of the wardrobe he was just franticly looking in , as each piece of clothing is buttoned up the happier he is; with a huge smile on his face in anticipation for the new job. He looks at a Google map printout saying the bus journey to the manor house is a 45 minute bus ride, but he even smiles at this as he reviews the winding map and journey times written upon it.

Jamie is crushed into his seat on the buss, leaning against the window in his seat; fighting despiratly to keep his eyes open. The buss loud speaker shouts “NEXT STOP MANOR HOUSE”; Jamie wakes up and tries to move but is still trapped into his position but squeezes through to the buses exit as its tops to let people off. As he exits the buss his energy rush is crashing so groggily strides up to the long ascending winding path to the Manor House where a group of people in the same attire as he is are huddled up at the back entrance. The catering manager is standing on a crate above everyone in the middle of explaining the job and the rules of service. As Jamie get into hearing range the manager is saying “Right, just to reiterate. Serve to the left pickups are on the right; Right?! Ok who have we here? Amelia?” He reads through a list of names and positions to cover during the event.

Jamie is excited, beaming with anticipation, but as each person before him is  called they break off to head into the venue; till all that’s left at the back entrance are Jamie and the Catering Manager still on his box. Noticing that Jamie is still standing there he enquires if Jamie, because he was kitted out in the proper attire, had just turned up and missed his name, Jamie tells him he was there since the start and that RAY sent him. Riffling through the papers in front of him the manager finds a hand written not at the bottom of a page. Looking back over at Jamie, all bursting with energy, he apologises to him explaining that all the positions were filled days ago so there must have been a miscommunication between him and Ray, he appreciates that Jamie turned up. Taking out a blackberry he scrolls through a couple of screens and then offers to use Jamie on the job tomorrow at the banquet hall on the other side of town. Down heartened in face but happy with this brass ring Jamie trundles down the path back to his return bus journey.

The next evening Jamie is again dressing in front of the wardrobe mirror neatening his shirt and trousers when his actions are broken as his phone goes off. Picking up the phone from his bead, he answers it; within seconds Jamie’s’ glee is shattered as he is told over the phone that the catering manager he met yesterday was wrong to promise a shift on speck because the company owes another person that shift. Jamie hangs up and starts to take the shirt off bust stops part way through to fall back towards the bed still half dressed staring at the ceiling despondently.

Jamie is again half dressed (one shoe on and an un-tucked shirt), with the phone between his shoulder up to his ear, agreeing through clenched teeth that “Yes, I guess I would look out of place at the ‘woman’s union workers annual luncheon’”. Jamie hangs up and containing his anger, pauses, and then violently throws the phone onto the bed where it bounces off into the corner of the room.

Jamie is now under his bed covers when his phone rings. In the corner of the room is a white shirt, black trousers and black shoes all neatly ironed and presentable. Jamie leaves it to ring till it goes to answer machine, RAYS’ voice comes on “Jamie, I just wanted to wish you all the best on your, (laughs) eventual, first day. Unfortunately I cannot be there but my second in command will be. Jamie, Jamie?! You will be there?! We are desperately short staffed during....” From under the covers comes Jamie’s foot which kicks the phone over to cancel the call, stopping the message. *Groaning he peeks his head from the covers to see torrential rain poor, then he looks at the neat clothes in the corner; *Groaning* again he pulls the covers back over his head, just as the phone rings again.


Episode four: For more information please contact the appropriate department

Jamie and friend, SAM(from Episode 02), are walking down the central thoroughfare of a local college campus; he is walking sluggishly still despondent at his situation. They pause at an entrance of one of the buildings, his friend tells him to “just have a wonder around for a few hours, just till he finishes classes today”. With nothing better to do with the day Jamie shrugs in response but his friend has already headed into the main building.

Jamie wanders the empty corridors of the college looking in the classrooms full of happy and attentive students; the more doors he looks through the more upset her becomes grumbling to himself in a mock fatherly tone “Don’t worry son, porcelain gnomes are the way of the future; it’s a trade for life!”. Looking up he spies a bright vibrant eye catching banner across the corridor ‘EARN TO EDUCATE, DUMMY’.

Walking forward towards the banner he sees to one side another person pacing around a door under the banner. Walking up to the door there is a printed note reading ‘Open Auditions. £££’s Paid’ written in bold lettering. Jamie, confused, turns round quickly to the other person pacing around him. Noticing this stranger’s confusion the pacing teen stops his rapid movements and in a nervous exacerbated manner explains the situation of the garish banner and open auditions. ”OH, yeah, you don’t know? The head of the drama department got sick of the course having no budget and only being able to put on a play at the local old age home. So he’s spent a fortune on a private detective to drum up some dirt on the head of the college. But the Dean found out and has sued the teachers union for collaborating with the drama head, and as a way of apologising to the students has pumped money into all departments from the settlement”. “So now the drama department can pay for extras that don’t look despondent and actors who can learn their lines.” Jamie enquires to if they’ll take anyone. The teen, which started pacing again, looks over at Jamie and irritably says “probably, you don’t see a queue of people do you?” Stopping suddenly and intensely staring at the door; “Look, they’re making TOPGEAR THE MUSICAL, I think desperation hit home when THAT was the best idea agreed upon; trust me they’ll take anyone.”

A muffled call from the room comes out “Next”. The pacing teen now starts to pull open the door but is stopped by Jamie who has put a foot before of it. The pacing teen stairs daggers at Jamie; who quickly asks if there are other paid activities in other departments? “Yeah, yeah. Look mate i already explained the college is flush with ‘stupid’ money. Look on the bloody activities board over there.” He flicks his head towards a large cork board to the left of them and then pulls the door open violently and steps into the room; forcing Jamie to move or be pushed off balance.

Jamie scurries over to the activities board and scans the notice board. Tacked upon the board are notices ranging from crude hand written notices to perforated papers with contact info upon them. Nearly all were enquiring after volunteers needed in various departments. Scanning the notices Jamie starts to tear-down the information to contact the various departments. He stops writing when he comes across the art departments call for ‘Nude Models: Paid as Handsomely as they are Portrayed’, his hand hovering upon the perforated information; he hesitantly takes it and mutters to himself “as....as a last resort”.

He continues to scan the board till he hears the auditions door slam open and turning to see the Teen from before storming out the doorway and down the corridor; angry waving their arms. He stops before the fire door and turns toward the room and Jamie, shouting “NOT EMOTIVE ENOUGH?!?”  <PAUSE> From the room comes a shout “Next”. Then kicks a dustbin,“BASTARDS”, in the corridor storming off back down the corridor away from Jamie.

Jamie, bemused at the scene, smoothes down his cloths and slicks back his hair. Taking a deep breath he enters the audition room.

We see a montage of shots wherein Jamie is taking part in various activities, bookmarked between shots of the info slips of paper taken from the board (saying the department, number and date needed).

(shot of a hand held open palm filling with cash piling up, as more activities are done.)

Science- Wired up to electrodes with a ‘Pain-o-meter’ beside him and one of the students asks “Ready?” . Jamie murmurs “No” but is ignored as a switch is pulled and we hear screams of pain.

Psychology- Playing chess against a Mouse wherein we see the last move in which he loses. He knocks over the board and turns to the student observing him and asks “Best of 12?”

Fashion- we see a catwalk with the banner reading ‘Project ReTransvests’ and booming TECHNO music plays as Jamie saunters down the runway in high heels makeup and a dress.

Food Tech- A blind testing of the same three dishes, the plates are laid out with coverings which are lifted to reveal grotesque creations with a label saying ‘Ratatouie’; Jamie takes a whiff and says “Mmm, not bad”.

 

Jamie is standing by the reception desk of the college a little downcast as he replies to the receptionist behind the counter “What do you mean they won’t take me?” The receptionist looks up and tells him “look Jamie, you have been a sport these past couple of weeks but you’ve taken part in most of the activities and experiments and they don’t need you anymore; the money is drying up. That is, all except <PAUSE> you know what?!”. She gestures with her head towards a poster for the art department. The poster simply says ‘Nude models desperately needed. Will pay top dollar. All next to the statue of DAVID’. Jamie stumbles aback and begs the receptionist to find another option. She shakes her head and Jamie shrugs with a resigned posture as he tells her to “sign him up”; she laughs to herself.

 

 

Jamie is standing in a bath robe just outside of the art departments’ studio. Nervously he peeks round the door to the packed studio but as soon as he does, the door swings open, pushing him to the ground, as a nerdish but beautiful girl (BETHANY) walks out past him; also dressed in a matching bathrobe. From the studio comes “Thank you Bethany. Can you please send the next model in”. Jamie bolts upright nervously, both of them staring at each other and in unison they both say “Hi”. She blushes and smiles timidly saying “I think that’s you darling” and saunters off to the ladies toilet. Jamie, smitten by the meet-cute he just had, watches her walk away and walks backwards into the classroom. His robe is sporting and erection underneath it now. The studio doors close as he walks backwards into the studio and after a second a raucous laughter come from within the art studio.