Web series, Six Parts : "UnLuck"

Web Series Idea – “UnLuck”

-Six episodes of 10 to 15 minutes. The tone of the series turns from Sitcom to dry by the end episode.

-A story that attempts to comment on the homogenisation of modern western jobs available to the young populace. As well as a comment on the blinkered pathways available to happiness in the competition/goal orientated society.

-------------------------- (EPISODES 1 + 2 OF 6) -----------------------
 

Episode One: Don’t take Gnome for an answer

 

Jamie and his father are in the offices of their local bank manager. All the surfaces of the office are strewn with porcelain gnomes; the bank manager is visually the same age as Jamie’s father (50’s). He explains to Jamie’s father, ignoring Jamie altogether, that his porcelain gnome sculpting/distribution business must reduce costs; he then goes onto list a possible changes like cheaper materials or relocating to a smaller premises and widening sales to over the internet.

After hearing out the bank manager Jamie’s father, unfazed by this news, casually turns to Jamie, who had been visibly tensing/worrying at the news of business collapse, sitting right beside him and point blank tells him that he is fired. He then turns back to the bank manager and says calmly “Costs saved! <Pause> Now tell me about these cyber sales thingy you were talking about”. Jamie is in shock, jaw open and motionless from the point his father firing, as his father and the bank manager stand-up congratulate themselves on saving the business and exit the office towards a desk with a computer terminal; all the way talking about their wives/cricket etc.

 

Jamie is now in an unemployment office, still with the shocked dumfounded expression as the firing incident, sitting in a booth opposite a ‘Retrainment Officer’, this girl is the same age as Jamie and can’t help but giggle at the virtually empty CV (except the hand crafted gnomes manufacturer) she has in front of her. After a couple of seconds she composes herself and starts tapping at her computer terminal she smiles and confidently proclaims that she has the perfect job for him. Jamie has a blank expressionless look plastered on his face.

 

Jamie is standing in-front of the grill at a fictional fast-food restaurant, still with the shocked dumfounded expression as the firing incident, holding a spatula in one hand and an order slip in the other. Slowly as the shock wears off he turns his head and looks at the alien items in his hands. Slowly it dawns on him the situation he is in and shakes his head violently side to side as to wake his self up; it is unsuccessful. He then slowly and calmly places the order slip and apron on the counter and makes his way to the fire exit. Once the door is open an alarm sounds and Jamie makes a dash for freedom; away from the fast-food restaurant waving his arms and the spatula, erratically, in the air as he runs towards his freedom through the car park; various cars honk wildly and the kid in the drive through booth leans out watching Jamie majestically dash into the setting sun.

 

Episode Two: I.T. Is The Way To Go

 

Jamie walks up to a large building an old library/Town Hall combo site, he slides out of his back pocket a piece of paper with the times, dates and titles of various councils IT training skill workshops printed upon it which he opens up to read. He then scrunches it in hand and tentatively enters the library building, clutching in hand the slip of paper he just read with the workshops printed upon it. Checking his watch Jamie realizes that he is five minutes early but doesn’t know the room that his workshop is being held in. The hallway to the library is mammoth with multiple rooms along its sides so he wanders from room to room till he comes across a door with a piece of paper stuck to its front, reading ‘NO, THE REMOTE CONTROLER DOSENT WORK ON THIS BOX: I.T. FOR PRE-BEGINNERS’; down the far end of the long corridor he traversed.

 

As he enters the room it is empty of people but populated with rows of old PCs; it’s silent but for the humming of the sleep mode activated computers. He walks halfway through the rows of desks and then takes the seat/desk with its back to the front whiteboard; looking back on the entrance to the room. Entering from a side door by the front of the room, a beautiful 30’s woman walks into the room and without realising that Jamie is there, sets to work setting up up her laptop by the whiteboard on one side of the room; she is bending over at the waste showing off her toned rumpus. Jamie, spinning in his seat, turns just in time to see the woman with her back to him banding over at the waste to lay her laptop on the desk buy the board; smiles slyly to himself in a horny voyeur manor.

 

Suddenly a surge of 15, 50+ aged, men and women enter the classroom and take their seats; with the smooth motion of pre-knowledge of an ascribed seating chart. The teacher turns to see Jamie sitting smiling lecherously at her bum, she smiles and he blushed deep crimson. She then looks up and nods to the people entering the room.

 

The look of glee is wiped from Jamie’s face as he spins back round to see the older set of people taking their seats in the class. He ducks his head lower into his shoulders as he realises that by now he probably should know how to use a computer. The young teacher comes up from behind and places her, well manicured, hand on his shoulder; startling Jamie into a frozen pose. She bends at the waste and leans in to whisper in his ear “I don’t think we have ever had anyone as young as you in our class before” squeezing his shoulder seductively whilst bending back up “interesting”. Jamie starts to blush again as she moves back to the front of the room, letting her hand slide off his shoulder, stoking his neck as it is pulled away. As she walks back to the front of class she asks everyone to find a seat at a computer.

 

Lost in a sexual haze and staring off into the middle distance Jamie is oblivious to the people walking to their seats behind him.  Suddenly a porcelain gnome is slammed down in front of Jamie; waking him with a shock from his horny merles. Turning to see who slammed the gnome, he is taken aback his father ruts about with the chair and desk; tilting the computer screen. Jamie’s father settles on an odd angle for the screen and then leans a briefcase open beside him  and pulls out a notepad from under another couple of gnomes, the notepad has multiple scribbled notes all over it; we see a couple ‘Gnomes.com’ and ‘Heavens_gnomes_we_love the_little_folk.com’. Without looking at his son Jamie’s father tells him to “Keep it in your pants boy! That gnome is for the luck of the company NOT for what you did behind the bike sheds on a Saturday night!” Jamie sits up straight and looks around the room for an open seat but all the computers are taken so he slumps further down into his seat and screws up his face. Meanwhile the teacher has wondered round the room leaving a slice of paper with some seemingly random letters/numbers upon it. She asks everyone to log onto the system, Jamie looks around for his piece of paper with the code upon it, till eventually he sees the gnome, wherein he *SIGHS* heavily and picks it up to reveal his log in info. He proceeds to type in the sequence upon the screen.

 

-A montage of shots to upbeat music-

Jamie is failing to get to grips with the simplest of tasks but doesn’t seem to mind as he gets to take up more and more of the teachers’ attention. She doesn’t seem to mind.

 

Jamie is round a friend’s house where he is lying strewn across the bed explaining his inability to get to grips with the I.T. skills and getting mixed signals from the teacher. It would seem that the worse he does the more she spands time with him, seductively leaning in and stroking him; but on the flip side she seems to have no respect past teasing him and telling him he is “Cute, like a slow witted pony”. Jamie explains that he needs to do something to show her he is a virile alpha male that he can trick into sleeping with him. His friend, who has been sitting at a computer all the time Jamie lamented on, spins round and hands Jamie a CD which he reassures will “Get the teacher attention”. The CD, which his friend then places in a clear case, has a single word written upon it ‘Override’, Jamie, sits up into a slouching position, shrugs and takes it from his friends’ outstretched hand.

 

Getting to class early Jamie inserts the CD into the computer and boots the program up. Everything seems to be working fine till Jamie starts to realise that the program is erasing everyone’s information on the shared network. Desperately he presses random buttons on the keyboard. During this mad scramble for gaining control the teacher walks in the room followed closely by the rest of the class; just as the last file is deleted and all the computers go blank simultaneously. Jamie, stepping backwards away back from his computer, his scrap of paper with the log-in code clutched tightly, faints. He falls comically backwards landing between the teachers legs; eyes closed facing up the skirt.

 

Jamie wakes up, with a raped coat under his head, to the angry stares of the head of library services and his young unemployment officer (last ep). They sit him up and explain that they won’t press charges if he accepts a ‘voluntary’ ban on the library property and all computers in governmental buildings. Still in a little daze, he agrees, signing the piece of paper thrust under his nose. After which he looks back at the teacher and says “I don’t suppose you date ‘ex’ students do you?” the teacher and the unemployment officer look at each other then back down at Jamie, and burst into raucous laughter.